Shaking

This is stupid.
I should hate her,
I shouldn't care so much about him,
I shouldn't shake every time something goes wrong with her,
I shouldn't be this effected by her.
I don't understand why I am holding onto something so tightly that is so horrible for me,
I hate how this feels.
I know I'm not alone,
I know she isn't really the only one I have.
But I've become so co-dependant...
and I hate it.
I know Jt is around,
but that isn't the same,
to put it bluntly,
he's a guy,
I feel like there aren't any girls left,
ones that i can really talk to,
or be close to...
and the lesbian side of me can't take that,
so i'm clinging so tightly...
I hate how dependant I am on closeness to a female...