Reading

Reading those blogs was the worse idea ever.
It made me remember exactly why I love her.
Um... loved her...
No, I do still love her in a way,
I love those memories that is,
love how it felt to be loved.
Yeah it hurts to fight with her now,
she is very different,
but she is still that person in some sense,
and if she's happy I can be happy for her,
I really don't want to lose her as a friend,
I guess I finally realize that I need to stop,
stop being her "ex" and start just being her friend,
nothing more,
simple pure friendship,
I know it can happen,
if she lets it that is...
No more drunken texting about the past,
or missing what was.
I need to live in what is.
Know that she is no longer mine,
and smile about having a friend,
that is if she'll hear me out heh,
I was a bitch.
I'm sorry.
I thought so many times about the ammunition sitting in the corner,
I took it from Envy's house because I didn't want it where I couldn't protect it,
I guess I can't help myself,
I still care,
even when i'm super pissed off,
and being a cunt,
they're still safe,
no eyes other than my own have seen them,
you have nothing to worry about,
and if you'll let me,
you have a friend here waiting for you.
I guess I am beginning to grow up a little,
I can finally say no,
and admit when i'm being stupid.
It may take a little time but hey,
I'm just now realizing how i've been acting,
i'll keep working on it though,
thank you for slapping some sense into me,
metaphorically that is
:)