Everything is an act,
all this cool act,
being a womanizer,
getting numbers left and right,
hyping myself up on caffine,
make up every day,
mohawk painstakingly gelled up every day,
acting all giddy and spaztic,
swearing up a storm,
getting high (even if it was only once),
getting drunk,
I haven't been sleeping,
haven't been eating,
i probably weigh about 110 pounds now,
maybe 115,
I don't want to fuck these girls,
i want friendship,
i'm not this tough girl i'm pretending to be...
the make up is to cover the circles,
i've been working multiple shifts in a day,
not because i want the money,
but to keep myself busy,
abuse myself more...
I have made progress...
I did realize a lot...
know i was wrong about a lot of things,
however,
i'm not even sure why I changed into this person...
all I know is i'm not entirely sure which parts are really me anymore
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